Kick-Ass

Reviewed by Alicia Glass

Studio: Mary Films

MPAA Rating: R

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Review Rating: 7

Four extra-ordinary citizens take it upon themselves to don the mantle of superhero and fight crime in a city overrun with bad guy gangsters!

Okay, yes, it is a movie advertising the simple idea of what would happen if a person were to become a superhero in real life – and that’s as realistic as the movie gets, I’m sorry to say. Now I know, the movie chose to make fun of itself at almost every turn but…the slices of attempted reality tossed into the salad of campy superhero stardom get irritating – make up your mind, pick a genre and stick with it! And surprisingly, there was just a tad too much cursing for my taste; hopefully most people don’t curse that much in real life, do they?

Things start off nice and awkwardly with Dave Lizewski, nerdy comic book guy and all around horn-dog, assuming the mantle of Kick-Ass. Ah but then other so-called normal folks decide to don masks and mantle too, and we now have Big Daddy and Hit Girl, and later Red Mist. And suddenly Kick-Ass doesn’t matter nearly so much anymore, because well his bad costume and lack of nifty weaponry simply can’t compare to Hit Girl’s hot moves and deadly Balisong blade, or Big Daddy’s sniping. Suddenly it’s all about Big Daddy’s story, how the police and the mafia working together framed him, caused the death of his wife, and landed him into jail for some time. But after, oh boy, he gets out, begins collecting weaponry and his daughter, and the two of them go on a mad ass-kicking quest for revenge! Then we have the mafia Don’s kid, who thinks by dressing up as the rockin superhero Red Mist and amazing Kick-Ass with all the glamour perks (better PR, that amazing car, etc etc) that he can get all these wanna-be superheroes out of the way of his father’s business. Oh but wait, Kick-Ass was cool to him, he wasn’t part of the deal, don’t hurt him! Riiiight.

Please remember one very important spoiler here: Hit Girl, not a day over twelve, has the highest body count in this movie. And that’s just awful frankly, plus the fact that Hit Girl curses a lot, and frankly I saw no reason for that. Nicholas Cage actually delivers a great performance as Big Daddy, all determination and a kind of pathetic vulnerable love for his daughter rolled into a goofy gun-toting Batman-costume-like package. Chloe Moretz gives us a disturbing portrait as Hit Girl, I’d bet that part was very physically demanding. Christopher Mintz-Plasse delivers as Red Mist, although I have a hard time believing a mafia Don’s son would truly be that much of a wuss. And of course, everyone’s favorite zero to hero Kick-Ass, played and narrated by Aaron Johnson, makes the movie what it is. Just, seriously kids, don’t try this at home.

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